Black and Gold Tie Dye

“You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

- Christopher Columbus

           

The cars lined up all in a row. All of them with a different story, but all shared the same reality. College was uncharted territory for most, a new life for others and just one big party that hopefully ends with a degree for the rest. I stood their observing them all. They were me.

I approached a car with a blue rolling basket in tow, asking a student if she needed help. She looked at me and said “Yeah, sure”. I helped her pack her life in a bin and walked her to the check in at her Tower. The line was long. All of the students beamed with excitement and I could see the yearning to cut parental ties in every single one of their eyes. I was a part of the MIC or the Move-In Crew. We were a large group of upperclassmen whose sole job was to make sure that new students had an easy transition into dorm life. We pushed carts, helped unload cars and managed elevators.

I walked up to the cart desk and sat down behind it. My job was pretty simple here, take an id and issue a cart. One cart per family was the rule, but by the end of the day that had disappeared. I saw myself walking up to the desk last year. Dreaming about how my year was going to go and how accomplished I would be by the end of it. I was supposed to be so many things, but I wasn’t any of them. I promised myself going into college I was going to change everything. I was going to be a new person, but I guess my goals superseded my actuality because all I could do was wish to do it all over again. I felt like a failure. I looked around at all the fresh faces and even a few scared looks on some young people.  My old roommate walked up, a few feet away from the desk. I gave her a look almost telling her it was okay to say hello, but she didn’t. She just glanced and looked away. Feeling stupid I looked down at the names and ids in front of me. I imagined the acceptance stories that coincided with each Towson id that I saw. The happiness they must of felt combined with the embarrassment that had just filled the bottom of my stomach must have tapped into some introspective emotion in me. I pulled my head up from the cards and looked around at all the black and gold tie dye shirts. I guess college wasn’t as pass and fail as I thought it was.